Smile with your eyes...

I don't have much time so, unlike my other long-winded posts that are filled with wit, I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet.

On a recent teleseminar on role playing put on by the guys at The Art of Charm (http://www.theartofcharm.com) and Pickup Podcast (http://www.pickuppodcast.com), one of the guys brought up the idea of smiling with your eyes. They went on to explain how to do this by raising your lower eyelids and cheekbones slightly.

I've had several women make comments on "that look" that I give them and I know that this is exactly what they're talking about - smiling with the eyes while holding good eye contact. Here's how I learned it.

First you need to arm yourself with two things: a mirror, and the memory of something hilarious. Think of something funny enough that it genuinely makes you smile big or laugh out loud (yes I actually typed that out, sparing you the teenage-girl interweb atrocity that guys should never use). Got those two things? Good.

Stand in front of the mirror with a relaxed look on your face. Notice the way the lower half of your face feels - nice and relaxed. Now notice the way the upper half of your face feels - also nice and relaxed. Great.

Now I want you to give a fake smile. Doesn't have to be too big. Imagine your in a bad mood and someone asks you to smile for a picture. You get the hint. Great, now hold that fake smile and again notice how the lower half of your face feels, and then the upper half. With the lower half you can feel the muscles contracted into the fake smile, but with the upper half your face is still relaxed. Really focus on what this feels like - by the end of the exercise you'll be doing the opposite of this.

Now go back to a relaxed face for a second, shake off that crappy fake smile, and then start to think of whatever your memory was that was so funny. Really focus on it, put yourself there until you are genuinely smiling or laughing. Now as you are really smiling look into that mirror, and at the same time notice how your face feels, particularly the upper half of your face. Your lower eyelids should be slightly raised and you may have the little "crow's feet" or wrinkles near the outer corners of your eyes. This is how you tell a real smile from a fake on - it's all in the eyes.

Do this exercise several times until you are familiar with the feeling that you should have in your eyes and upper face, and practice replicating that but while keeping your lower face relaxed, and you'll have it in no time!

Just for fun, here's a link to a 20 question test on spotting a fake smile. Really look at these pictures and see hwo good you do:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/

Until next time...